Life has been so “full” lately, that I’ve barely had time to read. That’s hard for me because reading is one of my favorite things to do. There are a few books that I’ve been sent to review that I have had a chance to delve into. I think that you’ll like them…

Along Came You by Karona Drummond
This is a sweet little children’s picture book by a mom and early childhood educator. (Although I often rail against the educational system in our country, I have the greatest admiration and a soft spot in my heart for educators.) As such, it was no surprise to me that this book would be great. It is basically about the effect that kids have on their parents’ lives and the changes/sacrifices that parents are more than willing to make as a result. It’s a thoughtful way to show kids how precious they are and how important their happiness is to their parents.

Four Wives, a novel by Wendy Walker
As my consistent readers know, I personally lean towards non-fiction books. Sometimes, I’ll read non-fiction though if I think that I’ll enjoy the story. That’s the case with Four Wives, the debut novel of Wendy Walker. I have this thing with books (especially non-fiction ones) – I know whether I’m going to like the book after reading the first few pages. It has to do with the writing style. It either grabs me or it doesn’t. This book does. It’s about how the “picture-perfect” lives of four wealthy suburban wives and mothers begin to fall apart. Although their lives are very different from mines, I could relate to each character in a different way. I especially identify with the character of Love Welsh, who chose to leave a career to become a stay at home mom. Overall, I think the book is about the choices that we make as wives, mothers – as women. It’s not just a suburban thing. Lastly, I love how the novel ends, “there she was, just the same. Standing on the edge of a deep pool of possibilities. Knowing she (Gayle – another character) would dive in.” Since I’m at a couple of endings/beginnings in a couple of areas in my life, I loved the language that so adequately captures those moments of possibility that we all experience at one time or another. In any event, you can hear Wendy Walker speak a bit about her book in the clip below:

If You Give a Mom a Martini: 100 Ways to Find 10 Blissful Minutes for Yourself by Lyss Stern and Julie Klappas
If I were the author of this book, the title would be “If You Give a Mom a Midori Sour…” (I don’t like the taste of alcohol, but when I want a special drink, I order Midori Sours because they’re yummy.) I “get” and like the point of the book though. Sometimes as moms, it’s a gift just to get 10 straight minutes of “me time”. This book is perfect for busy moms, because it provides 100 short, practical things that moms can do with those valuable 10 minutes. A variety of celebrities – i.e. Kelly Ripa, Christie Brinkley, and Keisha Whitaker – are among the many moms who share their tips in this helpful, little book. My two favorites are “Dwell on It” (going fantasy home shopping in the Sunday newspaper) and “Become a Woman of Letters” (write a real letter). On a side note, I have met one of the book authors (Lyss). She is a mom of 2 young boys and is the founder of a NYC based company Divalysscious Moms (www.divamoms.com). I attended their holiday event at FAO Schwartz last year and it was wonderful. Lyss knows a lot about moms!

(To see what others are reading, visit What’s on Your Nightstand.)

I’ve been busy (more than normal) this month, so I only reviewed the following book…

Cheers to the New Mom!/Cheers to the New Dad!: Tips and Tricks to Help You Ace the First Months of Parenthood by Jenna McCarthy

I’m an avid book reader, but I’m very particular about the books that I accept to review. I have this thing where I know after reading the first three pages of a book whether or not I will enjoy it based on the writing style. It either grabs me or it doesn’t. I also tend to like works from the same author. That’s why it was no surprise to me that I enjoyed this new book from Jenna McCarthy. (I reviewed her book The Parent Trip here back in March.)

Although this new book is written in a totally different style, Jenna’s sincerity and humor still shine through. It’s a flip-cover book (one side for the new mom and the other for the new dad) that is filled with insightful quotes and facts along with short, simple suggestions regarding a variety of questions that new moms face. Covered topics include safety, sleep, hormones, self-care, “survival” signs and much more. I also like that when you flip the book over, it also gives relevant advice to the new dads. (I think that my favorite page in the “dads” section is “ten questions not to ask your wife right now”, particularly #6 “When do you think you’ll lose that weight?”. (On a side note, this would make a great Father’s Day gift for new (and/or) clueless dad out there!) Once again Jenna has done a great job of breaking parenting down into fun, “bite-sized” pieces.

(To see what others are reading, visit What’s on Your Nightstand.)

I am sent so many books to review that I can only pick a few each month to highlight. Below, are my top three picks for April:

Healthy Child Healthy World – Creating a Cleaner, Greener, Safer Home by Christopher Gavigan

Christopher Gavigan, the author, is a parent and the CEO of Healthy Child Healthy World a nonprofit with the following mission: “We are igniting a movement that inspires parents to protect young children from harmful chemicals”. The nonprofit and the book begin with the premise that at the end of the day, all parents have one simple desire: a happy and healthy child. I agree with that. Since I have been focusing on “green” ideas and such this month, I’ve been amazed by the conversations (both actual and via email) revealing how much moms really are thinking about and trying to make little changes day by day to make their home environments safer for their kids.

This book will help. At the beginning, it shares some facts about environmental exposures that can be disconcerting (i.e. about cancer, asthma, autism, etc.). For the most part though, the book is upbeat and user friendly. It includes expert opinions, tips to making a series of minor but significant changes, and “Parentblog” sections where various parents share what they’re doing in order to create non-toxic homes and to safeguard their families. What I especially like is that the book addresses every step of development – from preparing for baby to their food, toys, clothing, etc. when they are older. Advice for adults (i.e. cleaning, beauty products, etc.) and even pets (“raising a green pet”) is also included in this valuable book.

I Brake for Meltdowns: How to Handle the Most Exasperating Behavior of your 2- to 5-Year-Old by Michelle Nicholasen and Barbara O’Neal

I like that this book starts with the premise that every child has meltdowns of various types. I think that helps moms to approach the various topics in an empowered manner. (Sometimes parenting authors can make you feel like there’s something wrong with you when your kid acts up!) Written in a straightforward, parent-friendly way, this book is full of practical tips for what to do when your kid encounters a variety of situations. The major areas covered are: (public and private) meltdowns, lack of social graces (i.e. regarding speaking to and playing with others), sleep issues, eating challenges, potty training, fighting, anger; manipulation, travel issues, health and hygiene, annoying refusals and some other random issues. Whew – that’s a lot! Fortunately, it’s broken down by chapter and topic, so that you can easily go back and get input on whatever issue you’re tackling at the moment.

Personally, I think that every kid is different and acts out in different ways – even within the same families. For instance, my older son Michael is relatively mild-natured. I don’t think that I’ve ever seen him have a fall-out in the floor, kicking tantrum. So, when Sean did the falling out in the floor/yelling/screaming/etc., I literally thought something was wrong with him. I’m not using the term lightly, but I feared that he had autism or something, because his emotions were so intense and he was unresponsive to my attempts to calm him. (In my mind, I used to joke that if Sean ever had a full meltdown tantrum in public, I’d walk away and act like I was looking for his “real” mom.) Fortunately, that phase only lasted for a few months, but it’s reassuring to read that your kid is normal even when they’re yelling on the floor like a banshee. From the tone of this book, it’s obvious that the authors of this book are mothers themselves. Michelle has five kids and her co-author Barbara (a mother and grandmother) is the director of a preschool in the Boston area. As a mother, I recommend this book. It’s is very helpful and I intend to keep it as part of my parenting resources library.

The Mom’s Guide to Growing Your Family Green: Saving the Earth Begins at Home by Terra Wellington

There are a lot of decisions to make in regards to “going green”. This book will help moms to make some of those choices regarding what is best for their families and the environment. The author, Terra Wellington, is a mom of three who covers information about healthy living and the environment on her blog MomsAndThePlanet.com.

I like books that help you to take away practical steps that you can apply to your daily life. This is one of them. Each chapter covers a specific green topic: energy; water and lighting; ways to green the various rooms in your house; cleaning; gardening; being a green consumer (food, clothing, etc.); transportation and play; being green in the workplace; and doing something to make your larger community greener. There are action plans, benefits to making the various suggested changes, how-to advice and checklists throughout. On a visual note, I like how the author uses the color green to highlight especially important “chunks” of text. It gives the eye a nice break. Anyway, back to the content – this is an easy to apply guide filled with hundreds of green tips. There’s something for everyone to start doing their part in saving the earth!

(To see what others are reading, visit What’s on Your Nightstand.)

I’ve been reading a lot of parenting books lately. Below are a couple of my favorites…

the birth to five book: Confident Childrearing Right from the Start by Brenda Nixon

This book covers a variety of parenting topics in a calm, reassuring tone. It is broken down into four parenting time frames: infant, toddler, preschooler and anytime. The author is not a medical professional. Rather, she is a parent, writer and speaker. As such, her advice reads like what one (educated, informed) mom would share with another. It’s valuable information, but it’s easy to understand.

I think that the greatest aspect of this book is that Ms. Nixon empowers parents by helping readers to see that there is a wide range of “normal” in kids. I also like that she includes a variety of topics that aren’t necessarily found in non-specialized parenting guides (i.e. “growing a reader”, teaching self-esteem, outdoor safety, and “raising responsible kids”). At the end of each section, the author sets the reader up to win by leaving them with “Success Strategies” that they fill in for themselves For example, in the childproofing section, the success strategy is “To ensure my baby’s safety and my peace of mind, today I’m going to …” This book would make a great addition to any Mom in the City reader’s library!

The Parent Trip by Jenna McCarthy

This book is a trip! The author is very funny and honest. I like that she doesn’t claim to be an expert. (She’s from a journalism, not medical background.) Rather, she simply shares about her personal reality from the time that her maternal instincts kicked in up until considering having a second child. The book pretty much covers the whole gamut of emotions and situations that many expectant and new moms experience. The “trip tips” at the end of each chapter are especially thought provoking in a humorous way. One of my favorites is “(make a list of) Expecting non-water-retaining celebrities with only one chin and delicate ankles who don’t even look pregnant from the back that I fantasize about kidnapping and forcing to eat sixteen triple-fudge sundaes”.

I also admire the fact that Ms. McCarthy shares the various parenting decisions that she made (i.e. breastfeeding, variations of the “cry it out” sleep method, child care, etc.) without making judgments on moms who choose different paths. Although some of my parenting choices have been different than hers, I could appreciate her thought process. Several times while reading the book, I found myself nodding my head in agreement as I remembered similar joys (and frustrations!) while raising my two sons. I truly believe that as moms (of young kids anyway) that we all have much more in common than not. This book just reconfirms that thought. I definitely recommend this for new and expectant moms. It’s an informative yet entertaining read which can be especially great since (let’s admit it) some parenting books can be a bit “dry”.

(To read about what others are reading this month, visit What’s on Your Nightstand.)

*The books mentioned above were sent to me for review purposes.*

I have two great problem-solving books that I was sent this month:

the no-cry nap solution

I was familiar with the author (Elizabeth Pantley) of this book, because I used some of the principles from her no-cry sleep solution book with Michael. Honestly, naps aren’t a big struggle around my household. Both of my sons have their own unique sleep rhythm (i.e. I know that the best time for Sean to have his nap is 5 and ½ hours after he wakes up.). This book is a great resource though if you’re having nap challenges at your home.

The book is primarily written to teach parents how to help children (newborn to around age 6) nap on a consistent basis. Research facts to stress the importance of napping are presented. Tips to help kids nap at various ages are included; nap challenges are discussed and various worksheets are included to help parents come up with a great plan. For parents of older children, I especially like the “hush hour” concept. (Basically, it’s a time for the child to be still and quiet if they’re in the process of or have outgrown their daily nap.) It’s funny, we were implementing this process in my home (we call it “quiet time”) every since Michael outgrew his nap. It’s very helpful (for the child…and mom!) Overall, this book provides some really great practical advice. If your child needs but is resisting a nap, the tips will probably be able to help you.

teach yourself: feeding your toddler

I definitely needed this book. It has been such a challenge getting Sean to eat – period. I love that the premise of this book by Judy More, a pediatric dietician and founder of the Child Nutrition consultancy, is that parents can enjoy feeding their toddlers and be confident that they are feeding them well.

Not only does the book tell what nutrients your toddlers need, but it also provides practical trips regarding what to do (and not to do) in regards to feeding them. The biggest “don’t” that I had to change was using certain foods as “rewards” for eating others. (It makes the “treat” seem more desirable.) I was also intrigued to read that all toddlers need vitamin supplements with vitamin A and D in them, especially toddlers with darker skins. (Did you know that toddlers of color don’t make vitamin D in their skins as efficiently as white toddlers?!) Recipes and dealing with special situations (i.e. vegetarian toddlers) are also covered. I can’t say that this book has solved all of our food challenges, but it has (at least) left me a lot more hopeful. That’s no small thing!

(To read about what others are reading this month, visit What’s on Your Nightstand.)

I have been sent so many books to read lately that I’m breaking down my “What’s On My Nightstand” posts into two segments this month. (The next one will be on Tuesday 2/24.) Today, I’ll be reviewing Scream Free Parenting by Hal Runkel and Parenting is Your Highest Calling and 8 Other Myths That Trap Us in Worry & Guilt by Leslie Leyland Fields.

Scream Free Parenting by Hal Runkel

Right now, my husband and I are focusing on the way we speak in our home. We don’t have big arguments or call each other or the kids mean names or anything like that. Rather, I raise my voice when I get excited (in a positive or negative) way. I can also have an annoyed tone when I don’t feel like being bothered. As we all know, it’s not just what we say, but how we say it. We’ve figured out a fun way to help us both grow in the way we speak. We have to pay a quarter each time that we speak in an unloving manner. A quarter doesn’t seem like much, but we’re both very competitive people by nature…neither one of us want to be on “the list”. (In addition to the quarter, we keep a sheet with the reason why the person had to give the quarter.) It has really helped me to see my “patterns”. Overall, I tend to lose my cool when I don’t feel like my husband or kids are acting “appropriate” to the situation. For me, knowing that helps me to choose my reaction better when such situations arise. We have this running joke (based on The Incredible Hulk movie) where we chart the number of days since our last (speech violation)”incident”. I’m happy to say that’s it been a few weeks since my last “incident”. I really believe that what you focus on changes!

It’s interesting that I was sent the Scream Free Parenting book after we had started our own little family system. It’s a really great resource. The first part focuses on parents dealing with their own issues so that they can control themselves/calm themselves down. In essence, parents are called to grow up and be the calming authority in their homes. The second part focuses on creating boundaries and space for everyone (adults and kids!). It encourages parents to have a mental image of what they’d like to see happen while simultaneously not getting caught up in the results aspect of the vision. It also talks about the importance of kids having their own separate space (not necessarily physical) outside of their parents. I especially like the point that they make in this section about labeling kids. (Be careful!) Part three is about setting the emotional tone of the family’s interactions, letting children experience the consequences of their decisions; and being consistent in disciplining. [The line “empty threats are really broken promises” really resonated for some reason. Although I’m pretty consistent with following through on what I say to my kids, just to think that each time I don’t is really a lie…whoa!)] The last section of the book focuses on parents loving themselves better so that they can love their families better. It’s the shift to a “put on your own oxygen mask first” mentality. Overall, this is a great book with some helpful, practical advice. If applied, I believe that they could help change the relationship dynamics in many families.

Parenting is Your Highest Calling and 8 Other Myths That Trap Us in Worry & Guilt by Leslie Leyland Fields

(Please note that this book has references to faith/God but its themes and topics are of interest to parents/families of all walks of life.)

I really like that this book addresses the guilt and insecurity surrounding parenting that many Christians are reluctant to discuss by sharing about the following 9 parenting myths.

1. Having Children Makes You Happy and Fulfilled (Not necessarily – that’s not their purpose in our lives.)

2. Nurturing Your Children is Natural and Instinctive (Not always – many times it’s a hard choice!)

3. Parenting Is Your Highest Calling (It is not. Our relationship with God is our highest calling.)

4. Good Parenting Leads to Happy Children (No one is happy all of the time. Don’t confuse your hopes for your children with hopes for yourself!)

5. If You Find Parenting Difficult, You Must Not Be Following the Right Plan (Not necessarily – there is no perfect plan/formula. You have to rely on God)

6. You Represent Jesus to Your Children (We can’t be Jesus. We can only need Him.)

7. You Will Always Feel Unconditional Love for Your Children (Not! Love causes a range of emotions)

8. Successful Parents Produce Godly Children (God is in control. Don’t make it so much about ourselves.)

9. God Approves of Only One Family Design (There are no “perfect” families on earth.)

STOP SELF-SABOTAGE! Get Out of Your Own Way to Earn More Money, Improve Your Relationships, and Find the Success You Deserve is a new book by popular clinical psychotherapist Pat Pearson. It really focuses on helping people grow in a variety of areas – primarily health, relationships and career. Pat’s premise is that we unconsciously sabotage ourselves because we don’t truly believe that we deserve happiness in every area of our life.

The book shares exercises, quizzes, and stories along with personal reflections on breakthrough moments from Pat’s own life in order to help readers break the tendency to self-sabotage and to make their dreams a reality.

Although I’m not big on the whole “deserve” mentality, I understand the gist of what she’s trying to get across – that people need to feel worthy of their desires. (Honestly, the life that I have is much better than what I “deserve” based on some of my past attitudes and actions. As such, I focus on what I want rather than what I deserve!) I do agree with Pat that practically everyone engages in some (or many) forms of self-sabotage. I think that being more aware of our patterns can definitely help us to stop doing this as much. The other thing that I really agree with in this book is when Pat writes about Self Talk. We really do have to be careful regarding the thoughts that we allow ourselves to think and the things that we say to ourselves. Study after study has shown that our thoughts affect our emotions which affect our actions! In any event, I recommend this book to those who are trying to work on various aspects of their lives, (After all, aren’t we all “works in progress”?)

To win this book, share one way that you have “sabotaged” your health, relationships or career in the past in the “Comments” section below by January 31st.

(To read about what others are reading this month, visit What’s on Your Nightstand. Also, don’t forget that the Bloggy Giveaways Quarterly Carnival is this week!)

Recently, I was sent two copies of the Second Edition of Your Pregnancy for the Father-to-Be – one for a review and one for a giveaway. I gave my review copy to a first-time expectant mom (aren’t they the cutest?!) for her husband. The next day, I saw her at her desk intently reading it!

I can understand why the mom is sharing this book for dads – it’s very informative. This book is by Glade B. Curtis, M.D., M.P.H. and Judith Schuler, M.S, the authors of the best-selling book, Your Pregnancy™ Week by Week. No book covers everything (because each pregnancy, birth story and baby is different!) but this one comes really close.

This updated edition includes a wealth of information to help expectant dads be more informed bout pregnancy, childbirth, and getting ready for a new baby. Not only is medical information included, but areas such as finances and the baby’s effect on the mom/dad relationship are also covered. Overall, this book does a wonderful job of including the father-to-be in the entire pregnancy process/helping him to see that he is an essential part of the pregnancy. In my opinion, this book would make a thoughtful gift for any new expectant dad.

To win this book, share one thing that YOU think every father-to-be should know about pregnancy, childbirth or getting ready for a new baby in the “Comments” section below.

(To read about what others are reading this month, visit What’s on Your Nightstand. Also, don’t forget that the Bloggy Giveaways Quarterly Carnival is this week!)

Last month, I received two books to review: GOOD DEALS & SMART STEALS by the editors of Good Housekeeping and O’S BIG BOOK OF HAPPINESS. (Both books are easy reads and make great gift options for the holiday season.)

GOOD DEALS & SMART STEALS
This book would be great for your “frugal” friends. (Actually, with this economy, who isn’t looking for a great deal?) The book shares hundreds of ideas for saving money on a variety of purchases (including daily household items to larger purchases like appliances, vacations, cars, etc.). This paperback book is divided into two sections: How to be a Smart Shopper and Get a Good Deal. The tips are a helpful reference source (but be forewarned, your super frugal friends probably already know many of the tips). There are enough ideas, referrals and such spread throughout the book that every reader should walk away with at least a few new good tips. For the average reader, the deals and steals will more than make up for the book’s purchase price ($9.95).

O’S BIG BOOK OF HAPPINESS
This is a beautiful hard-covered book that I’m looking forward to getting all the way through. The book is basically a “best-of-the-best’ collection of articles from O, Oprah Magazine. Currently, I’m reading the Your Mind/Your Body section which is about diet, health, faith, confidence and such. Other sections include Dating, Mating, Relating and Dreaming Big. I like how many of Oprah’s writings focus on growth, so this book is right up my alley. This would be a welcome gift to people who love Oprah’s magazine (there are many!) or a great addition to your personal home library. (You can get a sneak peek/ see the table of contents and read sample stories here.)

So, what (if anything during this FULL holiday season) are you reading this month?

(To read about what others are reading this month, visit What’s on Your Nightstand.)

Lately, I’ve been reading an interesting book called Who’s Your City?: How the Creative Economy Is Making Where to Live the Most Important Decision of Your Life by Richard Florida.

On the most basic level, the book is about why it’s so important where we live. Wealth and “personalities” of various cities are covered. However, the part that interests me the most is Part IV: Where We Live Now. It is about the three big moves that people make over a lifetime (The Young and the Restless/Married with Children/When the Kids Are Gone). I think that section registers the most because my husband and I are thinking about where we’re going to live next.

When I was “young and restless”, Manhattan was ideal for me. I had no problem sharing an apartment with roommate/multiple roommates, because we were all rarely home at the same time. Even when I was newly married, having a cramped little one bedroom on the Upper West Side of Manhattan was fine. Once again, we were primarily out enjoying all that the city has to offer. Even now with two preschool aged kids, it’s manageable. (We moved uptown to Harlem for more space/an extra room, but we still love the city life.)

However, now that our oldest son Michael will be going to Kindergarten next year, we’re steadily moving towards the “Married with Children” move. We love our Harlem neighborhood and still being in the city, but something has to give. You see, Harlem is “up and coming” as evidenced by all of the construction/raised rents/gentrification/etc. BUT the schools still leave much to be desired. Our education choices: locals zoned schools (no); private school (not my cup of tea); charter schools (you have to win a “lottery”); or open/unzoned public schools. We were leaning toward traveling to an “open” school like CPE1 or CPE2, but I don’t think so. Michael loves his pre-k but traveling to and from it takes a toll on Sean and I (we have to take two trips – drop-off and pick-up). Fortunately, Michael is only going to school part time, so it’s manageable. I can’t see doing a long commute with a full-day of school. I think that it would be too much of a time and energy drain on our family. So, we’re looking to move next summer to an area (probably Queens) that has easy access to the city by train AND a great local, zoned school. We’ll see what happens…

Anyway, these are the type of dilemmas that the book covers. The author also includes some of the best places for people to live at every stage of their life. (New York is one of the best “large regions.) All in all, this is an easy, informative book to read.

(To read about what others are reading this month, visit What’s on Your Nightstand.)