Earlier this week I was listening to one of my favorite business podcasts. This particular podcast really aims to encourage women (especially moms) to pursue their passions by starting their own businesses. Obviously, I support that. The host kept repeating something during an interview with another working mom that just rubbed me the wrong way though. She said (more than once) that being a working mom doesn’t make you a bad mom. It makes you a better mom.
I agree with the first part of that sentiment. Being a working mom doesn’t make you a bad mom. Being a stay-at-home mom doesn’t make you a bad mom either. I strongly disagree with the second part though. Being a working mom does not make you a better mom. That statement begs the question, “Better than whom?” I don’t think that moms who work for money are better than moms who don’t get a paycheck for the work that they do for their families. (It’s work people – that’s why we pay childcare workers, housekeepers, and other people who do the many jobs that stay-at-home moms do.)
I understand the desire to justify your life choices but I reject the idea that such justification has to come at the expense of someone else’s life choice. I think that it’s wrong to stay that you are a better mom because your child has a nanny (which was implied during the podcast). I think that it’s equally wrong to say that you are a better mom because you stay at home with your kids. It’s a matter of choice because kids can thrive in both scenarios. Why are we competing with other moms in the first place? Our kids only have one mom so why not focus on being the best mom that we can be for them instead of wasting our time and energy comparing ourselves to the moms of other children? Most of us moms are doing the best that we can. “Momming” should not be a competitive sport…unless we’re competing with ourselves to keep growing and being the best mom that we can be for our own kids. Now that my “rant” is over, I hope that you enjoy the beautiful weather this weekend with your loved ones. 🙂