If reading about faith/prayer annoys you, you might want to skip this post…
I was talking with a friend on Friday. “I prayed for you to have peace,” she said, because she knew that I was having a hard time not worrying about Sean’s dental surgery on his birthday tomorrow. Although I know that my close friends and family (who believe in prayer) are praying for Sean’s surgery to go smoothly, I was especially comforted that my friend had thought to pray for me specifically. Now, I’m having second thoughts. Here’s why…
Saturday – We received a notice from the IRS that we owed them $5500 from errors in our 2008 tax filing. What?! (I had just figured out that we would be able to pay the $5,000 dental bill with this year’s tax return and I was thinking, “Oh, I just might make it to Paris after all…”) After a deep breath and a prayer, I looked over the proposed discrepancies. Fortunately, the errors were on their part (one of my husband’s past employees had submitted a 2007 W-2 in 2008. Fortunately, I had a copy of the 2007 and 2008 tax forms and such. Panic attack averted. (If anything, they owe me!) Peace.
Sunday – On the way to church, my husband asked me to see what a blinking light on the dashboard meant. After checking the manual, it didn’t seem to be anything serious – he just needed to check the gas cap when we stopped. Wrong. All of a sudden the car stopped in the middle of the middle lane of the highway. No matter what he did, the car would not start up again…even just to get us to the shoulder of the road. As the cars whizzed by on both sides of us, I did the fake mom smile/soothing voice as I prayed for a car not to run into us. Later, my husband mentioned that a few had come close. Fortunately, the police came and barricaded us. They were motioning for us to move to the side. We’re motioning back, “We can’t.” Fortunately AAA sent a highway tow truck who towed us home. This was my first time being in my car on the back of a tow truck. It was shaky and I kept praying that the car would not tip over with me and the kids inside. Parents are the best actors. I played it off by saying, “Oh, this is like an amusement park ride.” In reality, it felt like we were hitting every bump. It was a shaky ride! Turns out that something is wrong with the transmission. We’ll find out later this week since no one was available on Sunday to fix it. Peace.
Monday – Tomorrow, Sean will be having his surgery for three to four hours. I’m just praying that everything will go smoothly and that the healing process will be as painless as possible. Even though I know that we are doing what is best for our little one, I am a mom. I would gladly change places with him to spare him any pain and discomfort. This parenting thing is definitely not for the faint of heart.
In any event, I’m considering having my friend change her prayer for me. The thing about peace is that it doesn’t occur during easy times. It’s simple to be “peaceful” when life is going the way I like. True peace is when those unexpected “storms”/challenges of life reveal themselves. Can I still train my heart to be calm, trusting and still then? So far, I have been able to, but it is definitely not easy.
I think that I will suggest this new prayer…“Please allow Kim to have a fun trip to Paris within the next year..” (Now, that is a prayer that I can TOTALLY get behind. Smile.)
