Friday was school picture day at Michael’s school. Although I still have a sheet of photos from last year’s picture day, I had signed up to buy the least expensive package for two reasons. One, I love my son’s school and I want to help support it (even though I prefer direct financial support…I vented about that over on Momtourage). Secondly, I noticed that on the order form it said that the kids who didn’t buy a package would not be allowed to sit for an individual photo…that they would only be allowed to sit for the class/group photo. There are enough times in life that my son will be necessarily singled out, so I didn’t want this to be one of them. After I filled out the form, I thought, “You’re being silly. Kids don’t care if they take individual photos or not.” Oh well, I had already paid. Que sera, sera.
On the way home from school on Friday, I asked Michael how school picture day went. “It was good,” he said. “I didn’t do the “crazy” smile.” (He has the tendency to smile like “The Joker” for staged photos.) “Oh good,” I said…and with that I thought the conversation was over. Then he chimed in, “The kids with no money didn’t get to take a picture.” What?! He then went on to explain that “the kids with no money” could only take the picture with the other kids who had money (in other words – the class/group shot). I explained to him that just because certain kids didn’t buy photo packages didn’t mean that their families didn’t have any money. “Maybe they just didn’t want to buy any more pictures, because they still had pictures left over from last year…like we do,” I elaborated. Whatever…he had already moved on to another thought.
Later, I reflected on why a thing like mandatory school supply lists and exclusionary school picture days get under my skin so much. In reality, they are not big deals. I came to the conclusion that in my mind these minor situations boil down to the economics of the “haves” and the “have-nots”. Growing up in a family headed by a divorced single mom of five kids, I most definitely found myself in the “have-nots” role at various times in my life. My kids are very fortunate in that they have never lacked for anything/missed out any opportunity simply based on economic reasons… and I hope that will always be their reality. In any event, I realize that I will probably always connect emotionally with the “have-nots” and raise my voice for what is best and fair for all, not just the privileged. I’m okay with that. In fact, that’s one of the character traits that I hope to pass on to my kids.
On a lighter note, how do your kids dress for school picture day? We go classic all of the way. Michael wore a navy sweater pants, navy slacks and a while button-down shirt. (If I’m going to pay for those crazy pictures, then at least he should look cute in them!)
